I recently joined Amber Shaw on her podcast, The Divorce Revolution, talk all things dating after divorce, and it was such an incredible conversation. We held nothing back and covered everything from what it really means to start again, to how to manifest love through feelings instead of checklists.
Amber discovered me on Instagram and was immediately drawn to my authenticity, she said it was refreshing to see someone who feels like a real, everyday woman offering honest, grounded advice. What resonated most with her was how I blend modern dating insight with practical, no-nonsense guidance for both women and men. She loved that my content doesn’t just talk about love in theory, but gives actionable steps people can actually take to navigate dating in today’s world.
Why This Topic Matter
Dating after divorce isn’t about starting over, it’s about starting fresh. One of the biggest lessons I shared on the podcast is that this chapter of your life isn’t a reset; it’s a continuation with more clarity and self-awareness.
Amber and I talked about how important it is to slow down, heal, and really get to know yourself before rushing into dating again. That shift from ‘starting over’ to ‘starting fresh’ changes everything.
When you approach love from a place of wholeness instead of seeking to fill a void, you naturally attract the kind of relationship that reflects your growth. It’s not about finding someone to complete you — it’s about finding someone who complements the person you’ve become.
What Dating Should Feel Like
We also talked about green flags, those small, powerful signs that show you’re with someone who’s genuinely engaged. Eye contact, curiosity, follow-up questions, and being present. Those are the qualities that matter most early on.
And if you’re on dating apps, try not to attach yourself to the outcome. Think of it as exploring, not hunting for ‘the one’. In the episode, I compared it to browsing at TJ Maxx – you might find a hidden gem, or you might walk away empty-handed, and that’s okay! It’s about the experience, not the expectation.
Dating after divorce isn’t starting over, it’s starting fresh.
It’s not a reset, it’s a continuation – you’re entering this new chapter with more clarity, wisdom, and self-awareness.
Healing comes before connection.
Slow down, spend time truly getting to know yourself, and allow space for emotional recovery before re-entering the dating world.
Shift your mindset from fear to curiosity.
When you release the pressure of finding “the one,” dating becomes lighter, more aligned, and actually enjoyable again.
Look for green flags, not just red ones.
- Eye contact that feels warm and consistent
- Genuine curiosity and follow-up questions
- Being present, not distracted or performative
These small cues often reveal emotional maturity and genuine interest.
The Inner Work That Comes First
Another big theme we discussed was the importance of self-awareness and emotional healing before diving into a new relationship. One of my favourite tools for this is something simple: a gratitude journal. Writing down five things you’re grateful for each day keeps you grounded, hopeful, and open to new possibilities.
I also believe in the energy of saying yes: yes to opportunities, yes to new experiences, yes to rediscovering yourself outside of a relationship. It’s in those ‘yes’ moments that clarity and confidence grow.
If you’re ready to do the inner work, here’s what I’d recommend:
- Start a Gratitude Journal: Write down five things you’re grateful for each day; big or small. Focus on moments of peace, connection, and self-discovery.
- Create a Self-Awareness Ritual: Once a week, reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself – your reactions, your needs, your boundaries, and note any repeating themes.
- Say Yes Once a Week: Choose one thing each week to say yes to – a social invite, a class, a solo outing, or something that stretches your comfort zone.
- Practice Mindful Dating (or Solo Living): Approach each experience with curiosity, not expectation. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this moment?
- Celebrate Small Wins: Healing isn’t linear. Acknowledge progress – the days you choose peace, the times you speak your truth, the moments you trust yourself again
You can listen to the full podcast here.
